Dog's Rules For Christmas

1 . Be very patient with your humans during this time. They will be more stressed-out than usual, but oddly, may not want to spend time in long comforting dog cuddles.

2. Instead, they will spend long hours writing Christmas cards. Let them do this, but insist that you accompany them to the post-box to post them.

3. They will come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

4. Be tolerant if your people put decorations on you. Even fake antlers won't kill you ñ except perhaps through embarrassment.

5. At some point they will bring a large tree into the house and cover it with lights and decorations. This is their tree, and they are very protective of it. Don't pee on this tree! Don't drink the water in the container that holds the tree. Don't even wag your tail near it.

6. Soon after this, your humans will start wrapping presents. However fascinating this is, do not stand on the wrapping paper while they are doing this. Especially, do not walk off with the present.

7. Next, the wrapped packages will start appearing under the tree. Leave these alone ñ even ifthey have your name on them.

8. Your humans may invite lots of strangers to come and visit during this season. These parties can be great fun, but remember that not everyone will want to share the couch with you. Also, some greedy strangers may even object to sharing their plate and glass with you.

9. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: don't pee on your host's Christmas tree.

10. Above all, remember this: on Christmas Eve a big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh will emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.

Do not bite him!!